Personal Protection: Our Violent Nature

A scorpion wanted to cross the River. Unable to swim, he asked a frog to carry him over to the opposite bank.

“No way!” said the frog. “You’ll sting me and I’ll drown!”

“Of course I won’t sting you,” said the scorpion. “If I sting you we will both drown, and that wouldn't make sense.”

So the reluctant frog let the scorpion climb onto his back and started to swim across the river. Half-way across, the scorpion stung him.

“Whoa!” cried the frog. “You said you wouldn't sting me! Now we’ll both drown. Why would you do that?”

And the scorpion replied: “it’s my nature.”

We, as a society, are beginning to live in a constant state of denial. We have forgotten our true nature. We attempt to suppress it daily, yet it finds its way out. We are violent. It is a fact. We all have violent tendencies. We try to fool ourselves into believing that we are incapable of violence.

Take this scenario for example: As a parent you come across a bully sitting on top of your child, punching away.

Do you:

Talk to the bully and explain what is wrong with his/her actions?
Do you wait to address it with the bully’s parents?
Or do you immediately and violently rip this bully off of your child?

I would go with the last response, and I believe most parents would do the same. Does this make me a bad person? I don’t think so. I acknowledge my violent nature, and through my martial arts training have learned to cultivate and control it.

By constantly trying to suppress our competitive, and sometimes violent nature, we are creating extremes. We have people who are passive and unable to deal with any conflict. By comparison, we have violent offenders. For our passive citizens the most minor action against them can be traumatic and shut them down; or worse, cause them to break down.

This can be seen as a random act of violence perpetrated by an otherwise good person. We are creating children who do not know rejection. We are afraid to tell them “No”. They grow up with this sense of entitlement and are unable to rationalize when they don’t get what they want. The schools don't make them repeat the grade if they fail. Recently in Edmonton, a teacher was fired for giving his students an F. Some youth sports already do not keep scores, so there are only winners and never losers. Parents are powerless to discipline their children due to societal norms.

Our children grow up not knowing consequences. Kindergartens are taught about assault and what it means in terms of the law. We keep them so sheltered from any type of conflict that they grow up without the necessary rationalization skills to comprehend or think through a problem. Instead they act like toddlers throwing a temper tantrum and lash out at the very environment that created them.

There are people in neighborhoods throughout the world who face violence and death daily. By contrast, there are people in gated communities who try to put as much separation between themselves and those neighborhoods. We prefer to watch violence on the news and give thanks that it’s not happening here.

Well, it does. And it will continue to happen here. I am not religious, but I will occasionally use quotes I am familiar with. “Love thy neighbor”. I agree with this as it preaches treating others with love. However, it says nothing about trusting your neighbor. Without trust, there can be no betrayal of trust. You can love your neighbors all you want…there is nothing wrong with not trusting, and being cautious.

We get our fill of violence on television through our sports and cable programming. “It’s entertainment” we tell ourselves. Yet a good portion of these viewers will not admit that they are capable of the same violence that they are watching.

“To your own self, be true.” Accept and acknowledge who you are and the evil things you are capable of. This is the first step to being a good person. If you don’t believe you are capable of evil things, then you are in denial. Many “good” people who believed that they were doing what is “right” have been behind some of the most despicable atrocities throughout time. Hitler believed what he was doing was the “right” thing to do, and I’m sure he thought himself to be a “good” person no matter how deluded we think he was. The Catholic Church was responsible for a convert or die campaign during the crusades.

We cannot ignore these facts. They give us the ability to reflect, acknowledge and learn. Every culture has endured its level of violence. We have had wars over beliefs and opinion. Does it make it right? Nope, but it’s a fact.

Each and every one of us has had a moment where we have had a violent or aggressive thought and subsequently dismissed it. The fact that you can consider the action with thought is an indication that you are fully capable of executing that action. This doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you a person.

We need to accept our violent nature. You cannot suppress your aggression to the point of inability to recognize it within you. Once you accept that you are capable of violence, then you have taken your first step towards controlling, not suppressing, your violent nature. It is part of our primal drive, and it is who we are.

I'm sick and tired of people blaming video games for our current epidemic with children. Be it obesity or violence. It's called parenting people. Be involved with your children. Invade their room and spend time with them. Engage them in activities and teach them the difference between right and wrong.

I know it's hard when two incomes are now required just to live and survive. I know you are tired from your day at work. I know your kids hate you and don't want you around. Make the choice today to intervene in your children's lives, and sacrifice some of the overtime and income if necessary to be the kind of parent you want your kids to grow up and be like.

I have made many sacrifices for my children and postponed dreams just to be sure that I would be an influential part of their lives. I can always make more money. My peace of mind comes from knowing I did my best to provide the guidance and support for them. Remember they learn from example, and if your actions don't match your words then you can't blame them for copying your mistakes rather than listening to your advice.

Siu Lum Canada is Winnipeg's Shaolin school. We teach the Siu Lum style of kung fu. Our training revolves around real life situations and real life solutions. There is no question that we will not answer.

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